Trauma
by AllysonGems
Summary: Steven thinks he should be happy, but the traumatic experience of his gem being ripped out left him traumatized. He hides his experience in fear of ruining the happiness of his family.
1. Happiness

**Note: There is more chapters to come to this fanfic. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it. Your reviews mean the world to me, the good/bad. I like to learn and improve. Also, this fanfic takes place after the episode, "Change Your Mind".  
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White diamond ripping out his gem- his life support, was one of the most traumatic things he has ever gone through. Steven didn't want to worry his family or his friends about the whole situation, even though Connie witnessed it and was very traumatized herself.

"Hey…Steven?" Connie looked over at Steven who was sitting on the grass looking up at the night sky while holding his ukulele.

"Yes Connie? Steven replied, forcing a smile upon his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Connie could see right through that smile. She was his best friend after all.

"About what?" He tried acting clueless.

"Steven, you know what I am talking about. I was there." Connie rubbed her shoulder feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing. "I witnessed it happen to you."

"I'm sorry Connie. It's just that I should be happy." Steven admitted feeling a little embarrassed for getting caught in his lie.

"What makes you say that?" She looked at him, feeling a little confused and sat down next to him.

"Every problem is fixed. The diamonds aren't a threat anymore, the corrupted gems are healed, and everyone is happy." Steven half smiled. "We have come so far."

"All of those things are great. They really are, but it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to not be happy." Connie was worried about Steven.

"I don't want to ruin their happiness." Steven turned around and looked at his family enjoying themselves without any worries for once. "Just look how happy everyone is. I wouldn't ruin that for anything."

"They love you Steven. I think they would be much happier if you opened up to them about what happened to you." Connie was trying her best in supporting her best friend.

"I think it's better that they don't know about it. Even though they were there, they still have no idea about it." Steven refereed back to when everyone was under White Diamond's control.

"I think it's better if they do know." Connie stated her opinion.

"I have already caused enough. I brought them to space with me when I should've made them stay here." Steven looked down at his gem. "I put everyone in danger, even you." He looked over at Connie.

"What are you talking about Steven? We weren't going to let you go alone with them. We wanted to protect and be there for you." Connie stood up in shock. "Also, it was an eye opening experience."

"We almost died of dehydration and starvation." Steven honestly stated. "The gems could have been shattered all because of me."

"It's okay to worry about everyone, but it's not okay to blame it all on yourself. I'm the one who wanted to dance with you which made us fuse." Connie did feel bad about her actions.

"I'm the one who agreed." Steven stood up and looked at Connie in her eyes.

"You don't get my point." Connie felt saddened by Steven's look on things.

"I'm sorry." Steven realized how he was hurting Connie. "I'm sorry to have put you through all of this."

"You don't need to apologize Steven." Connie only wanted to make him smile. "I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." He opened his arms for a hug.

"I want you to really mean it." Connie went in for the hug.

"I do, I just need some time to process everything that has happened." Steven admitted while still hugging her.

"Promise me that when you're ready, you will come and talk to me about how you feel." Connie did respect Steven's space and knew that he needed more time to think about everything.

"I promise." Steven smiled and let go of the hug.

"The hotdogs are ready!" Bismuth called out in the distance.

"We should join them now. They're probably wondering where we are." Steven started walking towards the temple.

"Plus, you love hotdogs." Connie giggled to herself.

"Of course I love hotdogs. Who doesn't love hotdogs?" Steven laughed along with his friend. He missed this.

"Stu-ball, I've been wondering where you were." Greg smiled knowing that Steven was okay. "I thought the smell of hotdogs would bring you back." He jokingly said.

"I am your son after all." Steven laughed while Greg handed him and Connie a hotdog. They all gathered around on the grass watching the stars in the night sky.

"That was quite a trip." Pearl broke the silence and slightly giggled.

"You call that a trip? I call it a mission." Amethyst scarfed down her plate of hotdogs.

"That's for sure." Peridot chimed in. "I kicked some major robot butt!" She laughed.

"What are we going to do with all this time on our hands?" Lapis asked.

"Relax." Garnet smiled.

"We really do not have a lot left to do like we once did. The gems are healed, the diamonds don't mind us living here, and Bismuth is almost done fixing the house." Pearl also answered.

"Does that mean no more crystal gems?" Peridot panicked. "I just got my new form!"

"Don't worry Peri." Amethyst reassured peridot. "I'm sure something will turn up."

"There is a lot to do around here still." Garnet explained. "We have a lot of things to repair around here. There are still pieces of their ships scattered around."

"I almost forgot about that." Pearl looked out at the ocean where most of the pieces were.

"So much has happened." Connie spoke looking at Steven.

"Yeah." Steven agreed, hoping that Connie wouldn't mention anything about what happened with White Diamond.

"We could use a break." Garnet smiled and sat next to Steven.

"It was quite tiring pretending to be mom." Steven joked.

"She thought it was tiring too." Pearl smiled seeing a lot of resemblance of Rose in him.

"I'm sure turning into Rose Quartz was even more tiring." Steven thought.

"But she knew she was doing it for a good cause." Pearl interrupted Steven's thought.

"I guess you're right." Steven smiled, feeling lucky to be surrounded by everyone he loves.

"Thank goodness you guys made it back home safely." Greg looked around at everyone. "I was worried."

"Steven and Connie are the ones that saved us." Garnet gave credit to them. She felt so proud.

"Hey! What about me?" Peridot felt offended since she didn't receive any credit.

"I didn't forget about you." Garnet smiled and stood up. "I want to thank all of you for coming to our rescue in such a time in need. I thank you from the deepest places of my gems."

"We were honoured to." Answered Bismuth. She felt so happy to be surrounded by all of her friends once again.

"Sorry to interrupt everyone, but I'm feeling a little tired." Steven stood up. "I think I'm going to head to bed." He smiled.

"Don't be sorry Stu-ball. You probably haven't slept well in a while." Greg understood.

"You guys should continue the barbecue." Steven suggested. He didn't want to ruin everyone's time.

"It's getting late. I should probably go home too." Connie looked at her phone and realized she was going to arrive home later than she told her parents.

"Want me to drive you home?" Greg offered.

"It's okay Mr. Universe, I don't want to ruin your time here." She replied gathering her things.

"It's really not an issue. It would be a pleasure." Greg didn't want Connie to walk alone in the dark. She was almost like a daughter to him.

"If you insist." Connie smiled feeling loved. She jumped in the passenger seat of his van.

"I'll see you in the morning Steven." Greg waved to his son as he got into his van.

"Bye." Steven waved back.

"We will meet you up there in a little bit Steven." Pearl smiled feeling a little protective of him.

"You can take your time." Steven smiled as started to walk towards his half-built house. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Steven." The others called back watching him walk to the house.

Steven stopped at the front door of his house. Half of it was covered with a tarp while the other half was fixed by Bismuth. He stood there for a moment and then entered his house.

"It's good to be back." He felt relieved as he looked around at his home. "I missed this place." He made his way to his bathroom so he could get ready for bed.

Steven brushed his teeth and began to change his clothes. He looked down at his gem and he froze.

"I almost forgot about this." Steven had realized when he was swimming earlier in Rose's fountain, that his gem was flipped into the diamond shape. He had hid it from everyone in fear it would raise questions. "If they see my gem flipped, they'll know something happened to me."

He quickly put a shirt on and went to the edge of his bed. He jumped in and situated himself under the covers. He closed his eyes, finally being able to sleep.

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 ** _Thanks for reading! Stay tuned!_**


	2. Uncomfortable

**Note: I don't really have a set schedule for updating this story yet. So, sorry that I will be uploadoing chapters at random times. I will figure one out though. Also, this chapter is kind of slow, I realize that, but it gets more fast at the end. I promise that my fanfic will not always be this slow with the action, it's just that I need this chapter to ease into another one. it will work out in the end. Finally, thank you for the support and reviews on my last chapter. It means a lot.**

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Steven slept peacefully throughout the entire night. He had no bad dreams for once, which was well deserved as he been through so much lately.

"I can't believe he is still sleep." Pearl started to feel worried about Steven. He usually never slept this long.

"It's only noon." Amethyst replied back looking at the clock, not phased.

"Exactly!" Pearl shouted a little.

"Shh." Garnet put her finger on her lips as she shushed them. "He really needs the rest. He hasn't had a proper sleep in a long time."

"I suppose you're right." Pearl answered. She has almost forgotten that Steven was half-human and that he needed sleep.

"What are we going to do now anyways?" Amethyst questioned, forgetting the whole conversation everyone had yesterday.

"Relax." Garnet stated with a smile.

"We don't have a purpose anymore." Pearl panicked, not realizing that all of their problems were resolved. She never took yesterday's conversation into too much thought until now.

"That's why were on Earth." Garnet replied and looked up at Steven whom was sound asleep. "We came to Earth to relax and to be free."

"Sounds good to me." Amethyst smiled and plopped herself down on the couch.

"I'm not use to this." Pearl paced back and forth.

"Everything will be okay." Garnet tried her best to calm down her friend.

Steven slowly started to open his eyes. He let out a huge yawn and smiled at his full nights rest.

"Good morning Steven." Garnet smiled as she made her way up the stairs to his bed.

"What time is it?" He noticed that it was completely bright inside his home.

"Noon dude." Amethyst answers from the couch.

"Wow! I slept for a really long time." He couldn't believe it.

"You needed the rest." Garnet ruffled his hair.

"I really did." He admitted.

"Steven, would you like me to make breakfa-lunch?" Pearl called up to him, almost forgetting it was actually lunch time.

"No thank you Pearl, but thanks for the offer. I think I'm going to check up on Connie." Steven looked around for his phone. "I want to have a picnic with her." He smiled as he reached for his phone under the covers.

"That sounds like a good idea. Would you like me to make sandwiches for you two?" Pearl always was very motherly towards Steven.

"That would be great Pearl." He answered back.

"Your picnic food will be ready in about ten minutes." Pearl started to make their food. She could never understand why humans enjoyed it so much.

"I'll leave you to it." Garnet smiled as she walked back down the stairs and into the burning room.

"Pearl, could you make something for me too?" Amethyst looked over at Pearl.

"Yes, I will after I make Steven and Connie's lunch." Pearl didn't really have anything against Amethyst anymore. She actually enjoyed caring for her too.

"Thanks P." Amethyst smiled and closed her eyes while she put her feet up on the coffee table.

Steven texted Connie and asked her if she would like to have a picnic with him out on the beach. She of course said yes and said she would be there in twenty minutes.

"Here Steven, I finished your picnic basket." Pearl smiled and put the picnic basket by the door.

"Thank you Pearl. I really appreciate you doing this for me." Steven had really matured over the year.

"You're welcome. Just don't forgot to wear sunblock. You burn easily." Pearl was still overprotective as ever.

"I'll go grab it right now." Steven rushed into his bathroom and get his sunblock. "I got to go now, Connie will be waiting for me." Steven waved goodbye as he grabbed the picnic basket and rushed out the door. Lion was waiting for him. "Thanks buddy, I'll get you a lion licker later."

Connie had just arrived to where Steven said he would meet her. She still was so uneasy over all the events that had happened, but she put on a smile and sat down on the sand.

"Sorry Connie! I should've arrived here before you." Steven hopped off of Lion and laid the picnic basket down on the sand beside her.

"It's no worries, Steven." Connie smiled and looked up at the bright blue sky. "Isn't it beautiful."

"It's very beautiful." He laid down next to her and watched the clouds move slowly in the blue sky. "Pearl made us food for our picnic." He remembered as he sat up again, opening the basket.

"That was nice of her." Connie smiled and sat up.

"It was." He smiled and laid the food out on the sand. "You can have whatever you want."

"Thank you!" Connie answered as they both started eating the food very fast. They were both really hungry.

"What do you want to do today?" Connie asked as she had food in her mouth. She felt comfortable around Steven.

"Whatever you want to do." Steven wiped crumbs off his shirt.

"How about we go swimming?" Connie suggested as she motioned her hand towards the ocean.

"I didn't bring my swimming trunks though." Steven looked down at his redshirt with the star on it.

"You can just wear your shorts in the water, I'm sure the Gems won't mind." Connie laughed.

"That's true, but what about you?" Steven looked at Connie and at the blue dress she was wearing.

"I have a bathing suit on under this. I came prepared." She laughed she took off her dress, exposing her teal bathing suit.

"Of course, you're prepared." Steven laughed and took off his shirt, leaving just his shorts on. "First one in the water wins!" He started running towards the water, but Connie stopped in her tracks.

"I'm going to win!" Steven laughed as his foot almost touched the water, but he turned around realizing that Connie was behind him. "Is something wrong?"

"Your gem." Connie stood there shocked.

"What?" Steven looked down. How could he be so stupid to forget that his gem was shaped like a Diamond now. "Oh."

"I didn't realize that your gem turned around." Connie frowned. "Did the Gems see?"

"I haven't shown them yet, you're the first to see." Steven walked towards Connie.

"How do you feel about it?" Connie asked reaching out to touch it, but hesitating.

"I don't know how to feel about it and it's okay if you want to touch it." Steven pushes out his belly as Connie gently ran her fingers across it.

"It looks so different." Connie couldn't believe that Steven held the pointy end of his gem in his navel before.

"Yeah." Steven scratched his head feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I ruined our fun. I was just so taken back with your gem." Connie snapped out of her shocked phase and realized she was embarrassing Steven.

"You were just curious. I should've warned you about it." Steven looked down.

"Let's continue." Connie smiled and ran into the water. "I win!" She laughed.

"No fair!" Steven laughed and ran to the water. He then splashed Connie.

"Hey!" Connie laughed and proceeded to splash Steven with an even bigger splash.

Steven and Connie kept splashing around in the water. It's almost like they had forgotten about the traumatic events that happened to them. They held hands and spun around in the water making waves around them.

"This is so much fun!" Connie laughed and blushed as she kept spinning around with Steven.

"Thanks for suggesting us to go swimming." He laughed along with her and he began to glow. He started fusing with Connie.

"Woah." Stevonnie stood in the water alone looking around. "We fused." She smiled and held herself. She loved being her. She walked out of the water and laid on the beach.

"Hey Baby." Kevin walked his way down to where Stevonnie was laying.

"Kevin." Stevonnie clenched her teeth feeling uncomfortable and annoyed that he had the audacity to show his face around her.

"I don't bite." He laid down his beach towel next to her. "Is this spot taken?" He smirked.

"It is taken." Stevonnie sat up.

"I don't see anyone else here." Kevin sat down on his beach towel. "So, you two worked out your issues I see." Kevin flipped his hair.

"I got to go." Stevonnie stood up wanting to leave.

"No." Kevin grabbed her wrist. "I just want to talk."

"But I don't want to talk." Stevonnie looked at her wrist feeling threatened.

"You owe me." Kevin smirked again.

"What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything." Stevonnie answered snatching her hand back.

"I got you back together, didn't I." He referred back to his party that Steven and Connie both attended which they ended up making up in the end.

"You only caused more confusion." Stevonnie rolled her eyes at how ignorant he was.

"I know that you're two kids, but no one else knows that. If people see me with you, my reputation will instantly go up." Kevin flipped his hair again.

"I'm not hanging around with you." She answered and turned her back to him.

"We both could benefit." He grabbed her chin and made her looked at him. "Also, I see that you got a new stomach piercing."

"It's not a piercing!" Stevonnie answered back, struggling to break away from his grasp.

"Whatever you say." Kevin rolled his eyes.

"I have to go now." Stevonnie looked at him.

"Just one afternoon." Kevin caressed her hair. "For me."

"No means no." Stevonnie stuck to her word. She really hated him. Stevonnie bent over and grabbed Connie's dress which she tied around her belly, covering her gem as Kevin made her uncomfortable about it.

"It will be okay, trust me." Kevin didn't know when to stop.

"Leave her alone!" Garnet came out of nowhere and marched onto the beach.

"Who is this?" Kevin stood there confused.

"It doesn't matter." Garnet formed fist. "Leave her alone."

"Alright, just chill." Kevin backed away from Stevonnie.

"Thank you, Garnet." Stevonnie thanked her.

"When someone tell you no, it means no." Garnet felt very angry.

"Just chill." Kevin said as he quickly packed up his things and ran off the beach in fear.

"Future vision?" Stevonnie questioned.

"You know it." Garnet winked. "Are you okay?

"Yeah, thanks to you." Stevonnie felt relieved.

"I'm happy that you're okay." Garnet smiled. She still felt that something was off. "I'm going to go back home now. We have a lot of cleaning up to do.

"Alright." Stevonnie replied. "I'll-Steven and Connie will come and help in a little bit."

"Take as much time as you want here, just don't stay out too late. You know how Pearl can get." Garnet answered and hopped away.

Steven and Connie unfused immediately after Garnet left. They both laid there exhausted on the hot sand. That experience didn't help their current mind states at all. It basically ruined any ounce of happiness they had.

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 _ **Thanks for reading! A lot more to come!**_


	3. Flashback

**Note: I've actually had this chapter written months back, but I hadn't gotten around to editing it. If the editing is poor, I'm sorry! I've been very busy with school! I'm happy about all of the positive feedback for this story. Thank you all so much! This may be a slower chapter, but I promise there is way more to come!**

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Connie and Steven didn't get up from the sand for quite a while. They were also silent the whole time. They both felt violated from the whole situation.

"Connie?" Steven finally said after an immense amount of time passed.

"Yeah, Steven?" Connie rolled over to face him.

"Want to talk about it?" Steven only was trying to break the silence.

"What is there to talk about? It happened to us together." Connie frowned while she rubbed her arm.

"Why does he have to be such a jerk?!" Steven angrily shouted.

"Woah, woah." Connie sat up. This wasn't like Steven to have an angry outburst like this.

"If he comes near you, or me, or Stevonnie again, I'll show him!" Steven kicked the sand very frustrated.

"Steven. Let's just calm down." Connie rushes to his side and tried her best to comfort him.

"I can't just calm down! He has crossed the line way too many times." Steven was furious, but his anger was built up from his experience on Homeworld.

"Everything will be okay. We will get through this together, like we always do." She gave a slight smile to reassure him.

"I'm sorry for overreacting." Steven looked down at his gem. "I guess my anger was built up."

"You don't need to apologize Steven. You really don't." Connie gave her best friend a hug. "I'm here for you, I always will be."

"What did I do to deserve you?" Steven teared up while in the embrace of his best friend.

"Well, you stalked me on the beach for a little bit and then got me trapped in your bubble." Connie giggled to herself, wiping away her tears and breaking up the embrace.

"I still feel really bad about that." Steven rubbed his neck nervously and nervously laughed.

"Are you kidding?! It was awesome!" Connie smiled.

"You really think so?" Steve questioned. As he put back on his shirt.

"I know so." Connie smiled and put back on her dress.

"I'm sorry our day did not turn out the way we planned." Steven frowned.

"It was still really fun though." Connie tried being positive.

"It was." Steven smiled and packed up the picnic things.

"I should go help the gems clean up Beach City. You're welcomed to join if you want, but you don't have to." Steven said as he whistled for Lion.

"It would be a pleasure to help clean up. I don't know how long I can help though, my mom is expecting me home soon." Connie sighed, she didn't want to leave her friend again. "Something about they want to spend more time with me because we were gone for quite a while in space."

"I understand. We were gone for a while." Steven really did understand. "How about I take you home on Lion. I know you said you wanted to help, but I don't want to risk you being late again."

"Good idea." Connie smiled and hopped on Lion after Steven.

Steven took Connie home. Even though it was earlier than intended, he knew he did the right thing. He knew she had been through so much. It was probably best for her to spend more time with her parents. Steven always wondered how it felt to have both parents there.

"Oh mom." Steven sighed as he looked down at his gem. Lion was making his way towards the temple. "I wish you were here. Everyone says you would be so proud of me."

"Steven!" Period interrupted his thoughts.

"Oh, hi Peridot." Steven waved at her. "What are you up to?"

"Just helping the Crystal Gems clean up Beach City!" Peridot was so happy to be officially a part of the team.

"Where is everyone else?" He questioned her.

"Everyone split up so the job could be done faster." Peridot explained

"Do you need any help?" Steven hopped off of Lion and looked around.

"I can do it on my own now since I'm a real crystal gem." Peridot smiled. "But I'm sure if you head towards your house, you could find some things that need to be fixed."

"Okay, thank you Peridot." Steven slightly giggled. He couldn't help but smile at Peridot's actions.

"No problem, bob." She laughed as she learned that joke from Lapis.

Steven made his way towards the temple and sure enough there was quite a bit of things that needed to be fixed. The Diamond ships and attack really took a toll on everything.

"I wonder what they're doing now." Steven thought to himself as he saw a tiny piece of Blue Diamond's ship. "They're my family now too." He smiled, but still felt uneasy over White Diamond. "But she helped me, she helped heal the corrupted gems, she is willing to change." He kept saying over and over again in his head. "I couldn't be mad at her even if I wanted to. That was before she realized everything. She didn't understand and now she does, but does she only find a slight understanding because my mom did reform?" Steven sat down on the ground and put his hand in his forehead.

"No...no…no…no." Was all he could call out loud. He was getting a traumatic flashback of being in White Diamonds grasp, while she ripped away his life support. His gem meant everything to him. It was his mother's, the only thing he really, truly had left of her. It's what connected him to the Gems, and it really was his life support after all. Without that, he felt like he was nothing, as if he was worthless. He was dying in that current moment, and it was one of the most scariest things that has ever happened to him. He lost half of himself, literally.

"Steven?" Lapis flew down next to him from the sky. She was more at peace with everything now. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, just tired of cleaning up is all." He quickly replied back. Lapis has taken him out of his flashback and he was so happy for that.

"That was one crazy adventure." Lapis looked up at the sky. She knew he wasn't as okay as he was saying he was. But, she also knew that he didn't want to talk about it and she respected that. "You were awesome though."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of you, Bismuth, and Peridot." Steven admitted, still rubbing his head. "I don't think we would've made it back without you."

"We only bought you some time." Lapis states, trying to make Steven feel better.

"Valuable time." Steven smiled and stopped rubbing his head.

"You know, if you ever want to talk to me about anything…anything at all, I would be willing to listen." Lapis smiled and opened her arms for Steven to hug her.

"Thank you, Lapis." Steven smile and hugged her. He was so happy that she was back on Earth.

"Anytime." She smiled back at him. "I guess I should get back to work. I have ocean duty."

"You said duty." Steven laughed. He did still have some "little kid" left in him.

"You should get some rest." She smiled and flew away. She was in charge of cleaning out the ocean.

"I should." Steven admitted to himself. He knew he slept in, but he was still exhausted. The situation with Kevin didn't help him in anyway. He just wanted to be in bed.

Steven hopped into bed, not even changing his clothes. He really didn't have the motivation anymore, and that really worried him. He should be happy, but he's not. He doesn't know where to find happiness here anymore. Everyone around him is at their best and he wishes he could be at his for them. They've all done so much for him, why would he go and ruin that? So he headed off to bed and closed his eyes, he almost instantly fell asleep, but he accidentally tapped into his sleeping powers.

"Where am I?" He groaned while looking around. It was darkness. Suddenly a noise was heard in the distance, it sounded like Yellow Diamond.

"I already miss…Steven." Yellow diamond admitted as she thought she was alone in her thoughts. She would have never admitted that out loud to anyone, not even Blue.

"Hey." Steven said as he touched her head like he did to tell them Pink wasn't shattered.

"Pin-Steven, is that you?" Yellow jumped as she felt a presence.

"Yup, it's me." Steven slightly smiled. He was glad to see her again, even if she had not been gone that long.

"Where are you? Is everything okay?" Yellow panicked. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if something happened to him.

"Yes, everything is okay. I just accidentally used my dream powers." Steven said.

"What?" Yellow questioned. She never understood Steven's sayings.

"Sorry, I mean that I accidentally contacted you." Steven rephrased so she would understand.

"Okay, good. We will visit you sometime soon. We just have been busy recently with changing our ways." Yellow started to frown a little. "I promise we will make time for all of us to be together again. It won't be like all those years ago."

"Don't worry about it. I understand that you have things to do. Whenever you get the change, feel free to stop by Earth." Steven smiled, not wanting to make her feel bad.

"Thank you for understanding. Now if you don't mind, I have to get back to work, things won't change on their own." Yellow was determined to change the ways of Homeworld.

"I'll speak with you again soon. Also, tell Blue and White that I said hi." Steven held it together, not wanting Yellow to sense any of his true emotions.

"I will." Yellow smiled.

Steven let go of Yellow's head, leaving her presence. He had gained some control over his powers, so he closed his eyes as tightly as he could. This ended up in him being back at his home and back into his body.

"Everything seems to be going well." Steven said while laying in his bed. "I should I be happy." Is all he could repeat in his head.

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 ** _Thank you for reading!_**


	4. Emptiness

**Note: Hey everyone! It's been a hectic few months, but things have finally died down now since it's summer. I'm very happy to be uploading again. I recently got a new device that allows me to write stories faster and easier. Plus, it gives me much more motivation to do so. Also, with that in mind, I'm trying to get use to my new keyboard so if i made any mistakes and somehow missed them while editing, I apologize. If you want to see what else i create go check out my SU Instagram @stoic_garnet.**

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"What happened with Steven and Connie?" Pearl asked Garnet secretly off to the side away from everyone.

"Kevin was bothering Stevonnie." Garnet answered simply. "I just scared him away."

"As long as they're okay." Pearl still had felt like something was off, but she couldn't quite make sense of it.

"They said they would come help clean up." Garnet realized.

"I had bumped into Steven earlier. He offered to help me, but I told him that I could handle it on my own." Peridot placed her arms on her hips feeling proud for being independent as she interrupted their conversation. "I told him to go towards the base." Peridot referred to The Temple.

"Thank you, Peridot." Pearl sighed with relief. She wouldn't have been able to handle if something bad had happened to him.

"It was nothing." Peridot smiled as she continued to put things back in place with her powers.

"Should we go check on him?" Pearl was still worried about him.

"He should be fine P. If he managed to save us from the Diamonds, I'm sure he can manage it on his own." Amethyst shrugged.

"You do have a point." Pearl almost hated to admit. Her and Amethyst were on way better terms than before, but their relationship with one another still had some work that needed to be done.

Everyone continued on with cleaning up the town. Even the citizen's joined. This process was going to take at least a few more days of work, but everyone began to settle down.

"I think we've accomplished more than enough today." Garnet smiled. She was happy that everyone came together to help fix this city.

"I agree." Amethyst panted. She had done a lot of the heavy lifting, her shapeshifting skills really helped.

"We should get back to Steven. He probably is hungry." Pearl laughed to herself.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Garnet smiled as everyone began to make their way towards The Temple.

"Hey, uh can I speak with you alone?" Lapis awkwardly whispered as she tapped Garnet on the shoulder. "It's about Steven."

"Sure." Garnet answered as the others still made their way to The Temple. "Is everything okay?"

"Well that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't know if this is my place to tell, but I feel the need to." Lapis looked down at the sand. "I'm not sure Steven is okay, I-"

"What do you mean?" Garnet interrupted as she thought Steven was physically injured.

"No. Not like that." Lapis quickly responded. "I mean, he seemed tired and weak. I had actually seen him sitting on the ground earlier."

"He was fused with Connie at the beach earlier." Garnet tried to give an explanation as to why he would have been weak. "He still is trying to balance his powers with his energy."

"Oh, maybe that is why." Lapis still felt like if it was something else.

"He has been through a lot lately." Garnet frowned a little. "He was meant to live like a normal human child. That's what Ros-Pink wanted."

"Well that clearly did not work out." Lapis stated the obvious.

"We tried our best to give him a normal human life. Greg took care of him for a long time and lived in his van, but that in itself wasn't very normal." Garnet sighed. "We had trouble being around him at first. It was hard to understand why Rose would give up her physical form for a human, but slowly we came to love him more than any words could ever describe." She smiled.

"He has touched many hearts." Blushed Lapis.

"Many." Garnet repeated.

"So, you think he is okay?" Lapis needed reassurance.

"I can't say for certain, but I would like to believe that he would come to us if anything was bothering him." Garnet nodded.

"Thanks for this." Lapis actually started to take a liking to The Crystal Gems.

"No, thank you for telling me your concerns." Garnet was very grateful.

"We should go see Steven now." Lapis started to walk towards the Temple with Garnet.

Steven had been sound asleep for quite some time before Pearl, Amethyst, and Peridot entered The Temple. They heard him snoring from outside the door so they knew to be quieter upon entry.

"He must still be tired from the past few days." Pearl stated as she still felt a little worried for him.

"Obviously. He barely got any sleep while we were in Homeworld." Amethyst tried her best to whisper.

"Can someone remind me why humans need sleep?" Peridot questioned.

"When they sleep, they get energy." Pearl explained in a simple manner.

"Oh, right!" Peridot shouted.

"Shh." Pearl sharply shushed her.

"Sorry." Peridot whispered, but it had already been too late. Steven began to stir in his bed.

"You woke him up." Amethyst sort of felt angry, but got over it quickly.

"Hey guys." Steven yawned as he woke up. He must've fallen asleep again by accident after contacting Yellow Diamond through his dreams.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Peridot felt apologetic.

"It's alright." Steven smiled as he jumped out of bed trying to pretend like he had some sort of motivation.

"How are you?" Pearl asked as she rushed up to the loft where the bed was.

"I'm great! Never better!" He forced a convincing smile upon his face.

"I'm glad to hear." Pearl hugged him tightly.

"How is the cleaning up going? I'm sorry I wasn't able to accomplish much." Steven questioned.

"It's going pretty well my dude. I've lifted up so many things." Amethyst then explained how she used her shapeshifting skills.

"We still have more things to clean up tomorrow." Pearl added as Garnet and Lapis entered The Temple.

"Steven!" Garnet smiled as he hopped down the ladder to give her a high five. "You must be very tired."

"I think I am more hungrier than anything." He giggled as his stomach growled.

"What would you like me to make you?" Pearl questioned as she came down from the loft too. "Is there anything you want?"

"I'm not sure. I'm happy with whatever you choose to make." Steven stated. He didn't want to make Pearl go through so much trouble.

"A surprise it is." She smiled as she started to get busy in the kitchen.

"Thank you." Steven thanked Pearl. She always took care of him and made sure he had what he needed.

"Want to do anything tonight? We could play board games." Garnet suggested. They hadn't had "family time" in quite a while.

"I would love that." He forced another smile. He knew that they were trying their best to make things go back to as normal as possible, but things could never be the same. He learned too much. He figured out that his life had been a lie, but that wasn't even what was phasing him. His flashbacks of White Diamond were burned into his mind and took over his thoughts more than anything else could.

"Great! What game?" Garnet asked as she opened the game cabinet.

"I'm not sure." He yawned.

"Steven, it's okay if you're feeling too tired to play games tonight. We can reschedule." Garnet ruffled his hair.

"Are you sure?" He questioned feeling guilty about not playing games.

"Positive." Garnet smiled. "It might be better anyway. Connie and your dad would be able to attend."

"I guess you're right." He agreed. "I think I'm going to have a bath before dinner is ready if you don't mind." He looked over at Pearl whom was working in the kitchen.

"No worries Steven. Your food will be ready when you come out." Pearl smiled not thinking anything of it. Steven had occasional baths and showers.

Steven then proceeded to his bathroom as to where he turned on the tap to fill up his bathtub. He wanted a lukewarm bath that he could relax in and where he had privacy. As he waited for his tub to fill up he looked into the mirror at himself.

"Why do I have to cause so many issues with everyone. They're so happy with where they are now. Why would I want to ruin that." He whispered to himself as he took off his shirt. "They finally are free to be themselves."

Steven then turned off his water as the tub was a little over half full. He just couldn't wait to relax. This is all he had been looking forward to. He then proceeded to undress and get into him is bath.

"This is exactly what I need." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Should I warn Steven that his food will be ready in 10 minutes?" Pearl questioned as she looked at everyone.

"I think it will be fine. He will come out when he is done." Garnet answered. She knew Steven was getting older and needed his own privacy.

"Okay, I guess he could just heat it up in the microwave if it becomes cold." Pearl responded. She was making him Spaghetti, one of his favorite meals.

Everyone except for Greg and Connie were just sitting around in the living room is silence waiting for Steven to come out and eat. He was truly the light of all their worlds. No matter what the situation was, he knew how to put a smile on your face. Without him, their lives would feel empty and not complete.

"What's taking him so long?" Amethyst groaned as she laid upside down on the couch. Steven had been in the bathroom for over half an hour now.

"He's been through a lot these past few weeks. I'm sure he is just taking his time and relaxing." Garnet stated.

"Maybe I should go knock on the door and check on him. He doesn't usually take this long." Pearl started to worry.

"Sure." Garnet stoically said.

Pearl then made her way over to the washroom. She almost hesitated to knock as knew he needed privacy, but she couldn't help but feel worried over him.

"Steven?" Pearl knocked gently. No one responded.

"Maybe he can't hear you." Lapis suggested.

"Steven?" Pearl knocked a little harder. No one answered.

"I'm sure he just fell asleep. He was tired before having a bath." Garnet stood up and walked over beside Pearl.

"Steven!" Pearl shouted as she knocked on the door really hard.

No one answered…

* * *

 ** _Thank you for reading!_**


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